If I listened to everything the media is telling me, I would be BATSHIT CRAZY! I would be constantly depressed and would ‘actually need’ the pharmaceuticals that they bombard us with during commercial break.

….

BREAKING NEWS, we’ve got the same information as we did 10 minutes ago, but stay tuned because we want to repeat the same information in a tone that conveys Emergency and Authority, again. Hear what we say and go to work and repeat it like a parrot. Induce fear. Create anxiety. Fudge the numbers. Use irrelevant statistics. Label people. Label things. Become the ultimate sheeple!

….

What’s better than a strategy that plays on people’s fear?

…I am so glad I left the news business!

Whatever happened to hard hitting journalism? I guess it doesn’t matter when you have a ‘pretty face’ telling you what THEY THINK you should know.

News seems nothing more than sensational key words, fancy graphics and fictitious numbers….all wrapped up in that all too familiar “I know better than you tone!”

SWEEPS!

Thankfully, there are such things as logic, common sense and critical thinking. (…and Charlie Sheen)

Or

Buy some I LoVE LiFE stickers HERE

Second year in a row that I have noticed that Google doesn’t like Mexicans

err…rather they do not change their logo for Cinco De Mayo.

Wonder if this has anything to do with their political views?

…and despite all of the rumors that GaGa is packing heat down below…(the penis rumors)…I still think SHE is a woman. Who know she could just have a enormous love button … which I wouldn’t mind…she could P-p-p-poke my face all she wants. Ahahahah!

Aside from that, I really admire her style…yes it’s weird/bizarre…and that is why I like it.
She’s truly not afraid to speak her mind and wear what she likes.

I would definitely be interested in talking with her and picking her artistic brain.
I’m sure that she would provide for a very interesting conversation.
Intelligence for the win!!!

We should all take a page from her book. Lady GaGa, where art thou?

I’d like to take a moment to point out and thank the Internet porn industry for forever ruining the way I interpret ATM signs.

Now, whenever I see an ATM sign displayed proudly in the window of a 7-11 or Shell gas station I can’t help but think ASS TO MOUTH. …How Kinky…

Thanks…

Walmart, the world’s largest chain retail store, is now offering affordable coffins available exclusively via their online stores. Check them out HERE.

Do they offer a discount to their senior staff members?
Ya know…so they can get ahead of the game and purchase one just in case they accidentally kick the bucket a little sooner than expected!

Hmmm…I’m not sure whether to be excited…or to be completely confused?

Which model tugs on your heart strings?

My favorite is the Lovely in All Ways model, which is modestly priced at $1799.00 and comes in a 18 gauge hand-brushed steel design, with a plush pink interior.
…Cause you can be Lovely in All Ways…even in death! Now that’s Hott!

Ok, time to get back that Christmas shopping…what to get grandma….hmmm…what to get?

…and if caskets aren’t your thing…check out their vast selection of urns…yeah and they even have one for Fido…or any other pet for that matter.

PS. Costco also offers coffins and urns. Check them out HERE via their Funeral page.

It’s here for all of you to enjoy! So go ahead and spread the word.
I will be updating and adding videos to it daily.

You like t-shirts, right? I mean who doesn’t?!
Personally, I can’t go a day without one…cause I might risk losing my job. A half-naked pale dude is a no-go in an office setting.

Anyhow, in the search for undeniably unique and funny t-shirts I’ve come across PantsNotFound.com

There you’ll find an ever-increasing assortment of unique and witty screen printed tees.

If you’re a geek at heart or clearly in need of some schizophrenic medication than I recommend swooping up a few of these awesome t-shirts. Word of advice: Don’t get caught dead without one…and if you do, then we’ll have to gift-wrap your lifeless corpse in style!

Also, these t-shirts make great gifts considering we’re currently in the holiday season. *Wink Wink*

Oh…and I’m sure the Goatse Donuts tee will be a huge hit at your next Bottomless party!

So head on over to PantsNotFound.com, check out the selection and be sure to spread the word…tell your peeps!!!

Let me know which one you like the best!

I have a very serious health alert to tell you about!

As the hype surrounding the Swine Flu (or H1N1) dies down, I feel that it is my civil duty
to inform you about a much more serious condition.

Cameltosis:
[Pronounced - Kam-uhl | toh | sis]
(n.) medical term.; derived from Latin “cama” for camel, and “tosio” for vagina.
Refers to a woman suffering from camel toe. Also known as; Moose-Knuckle.
Source: UrbanDictionary.com

What is Cameltosis?
It is a serious physical condition that affects 9 out of 10 women around the world.

Who is most at risk?
Normally only women are at serious risk, there is however, a concern that it may also
affect some men by causing an extreme case of whiplash of the neck(usually by bewildered onlookers).

How is Cameltosis treated?
Women suffering from Cameltosis can begin treatment immediately by purchasing
a device known as a Cuchini. – http://www.cuchini.com/

—
…and aside from cuchini’s creepy mascot, they do offer a unique feature where you can discreetly
and anonymously send one to a “suffering” female.

—

…or you could take the easier/cheaper approach and ditch the offending piece of clothing
for some baggy sweatpants, maybe a moo-moo, or even a poncho(but not a Sears poncho!).

Oh yeah…this post would not be complete without this video:

Cameltoe by Fannypack:

-Ego

P.S.

I’m not here to push any political agenda. Nor do I side with any political party.

I found this news clip of President Barack Obama asserting:

“…We are the only nation on Earth that leaves millions of people without health insurance.”

That assertion does not sit well with me, and I’d love to know what everyone else thinks.

Really?
Out of all 190+ countries we are the ONLY nation that doesn’t provide health insurance for millions of people? REALLY?

This is not true! What about all the 3rd world nations?

Did his prompter slip? (I do not like scripted politics…If you speak the truth it should come from the heart, not from a teleprompter!)
Did his speech writer overlook something?
Was he trying to ad lib?
Does he and his administration think we are that misinformed?

Hmmmm…makes me wonder.

What do you think about this? Leave a comment =)

…and if I am wrong, let me know why.
I’d prefer to be educated on the matter, rather than be slandered and belittled.

-Ego